What do you do when you can no longer handle your child?

I mean, there’s no sugarcoating it—sometimes it feels like you’re running on fumes, and no matter what you try, nothing seems to work. We’ve all had those moments where we look at our child, overwhelmed and at our wit’s end, and think,

"What am I doing wrong?"

If you’re feeling like you can’t handle your child anymore, just know—you’re not alone.

That moment when you hit a breaking point:

I remember one evening vividly. My kid, who was around three at the time, had just thrown the biggest tantrum I’ve ever seen—like, next-level meltdown. I had tried everything: the calm voice, the time-out, distractions, even a hug. But nothing worked. I could feel my patience slipping away like sand through my fingers. My heart was racing, and I could feel tears building up in my eyes. For a split second, I just wanted to scream, “I can’t do this anymore!”

Have you ever had a moment like that? Where it feels like no matter what you do, you’re failing? It’s frustrating, draining, and honestly, a little scary.

Why it feels overwhelming:

First off, let’s acknowledge something important: parenting is relentless. There are no breaks, no overtime pay, no clocking out at 5 p.m. You’re responsible for shaping a little human being, and sometimes that weight feels heavy. When you’re constantly faced with tantrums, defiance, or pure exhaustion, it’s normal to feel like you’re losing control.

But here’s the thing—it’s okay to not have all the answers. Kids, especially when they’re young, are learning how to navigate their emotions, and sometimes that process is messy—really messy. And guess what? We’re learning too. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but wouldn’t that be great?

Real talk: What can you do when you feel like you can’t handle it anymore?

1. Take a break (if you can)

This sounds simple, but it’s not always easy to implement when you’re in the heat of the moment. But sometimes, stepping away—even for a few minutes—can help you regain your composure. I remember one day, I locked myself in the bathroom for five minutes just to breathe. I wasn’t even doing anything, just sitting there on the edge of the tub, counting my breaths. It helped me hit the reset button, even if just for a little while.

If you have a partner, family member, or friend who can step in for you, don’t hesitate to ask for help. **Asking for help does not mean you’re failing as a parent**. In fact, recognizing when you need a break is a sign of strength.

2. Reframe your mindset

I know this sounds a bit “self-help book,” but hear me out. When you’re in the middle of a difficult moment with your child, it’s easy to get wrapped up in frustration. However, if you can shift your mindset slightly, it can help. Instead of thinking,

“I can’t handle this,”try to remind yourself, “My child is struggling, and I am here to help them through it.”

That simple shift—from seeing your child as impossible to seeing them as someone who’s also struggling—can change the way you respond. It doesn’t make the tantrum disappear, but it can help you approach the situation with more compassion.

3. Pick your battles

This one took me a while to learn, but once I did, it was a game-changer.

Not everything needs to be a battle.

Kids will test boundaries—that’s their job. But we don’t have to engage in every single power struggle.

Ask yourself: Is this worth the fight?Sometimes, letting your child wear mismatched socks or eat cereal for dinner is okay. Not everything needs to be perfect.

4. Talk to someone

I can’t stress this enough—venting helps. Whether it’s to a friend, a family member, or even a therapist, talking about your struggles can be incredibly cathartic. I used to call my sister after particularly tough days, and just hearing her say, “Yeah, I’ve been there,” gave me a sense of relief. When you share your struggles, you’ll often find that others have been through the same thing. And there’s comfort in that shared experience.

5. Remember: It’s a phase

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a seasoned parent who told me,

“Everything is a phase.”

When you’re in the middle of a rough patch with your child, it can feel like it’s never going to end. But it will. Kids grow, they change, and so do their challenges. What seems impossible today will be a distant memory tomorrow. And it’s true. In the middle of a meltdown or a power struggle, it feels like this is your new reality forever. But kids are constantly changing. What feels like an insurmountable challenge today could be something you laugh about a few months from now.

I remember when my child refused to sleep through the night. It felt endless—like I’d never get a full night’s sleep again. I was exhausted, frustrated, and losing hope. But eventually, they grew out of it. Now, I barely remember those sleepless nights, and when I do, it doesn’t hold the same intensity it did back then.

It’s like that quote from Maya Angelou:

“Every storm runs out of rain.”

The tough times don’t last forever, even if they feel never-ending in the moment.

A fresh perspective: It’s okay to struggle

Here’s something important to remember: Struggling doesn’t mean you’re a bad parent. In fact, it means you care. If you didn’t care, you wouldn’t feel overwhelmed. You wouldn’t question yourself. But because you want to do right by your child, you’re feeling the weight of those tough moments.

And guess what? **It’s okay to struggle.** It’s okay to feel like you’re not handling things perfectly. Parenting is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes downright overwhelming. But it’s also filled with moments of joy, growth, and learning—for both you and your child.

Thought-provoking insight: You're growing too.

Here’s a little twist on the usual narrative: While your child is growing, so are you. Every tantrum, every sleepless night, every difficult phase is shaping you into a stronger, more resilient parent. You’re learning patience, empathy, and how to navigate hard times. The challenges won’t just make your child stronger—they’ll make you stronger too.

So, next time you feel like you can’t handle your child, remind yourself that you’re in the trenches, yes—but you’re also evolving. And that’s something worth holding on to.

Final thought: Give yourself grace

At the end of the day, remember that parenting isn’t about perfection. It’s about showing up, even when it’s hard. It’s about loving your child through the chaos. **Give yourself grace**. You’re doing the best you can, and that’s enough.

And if today feels like too much? Just remember: this too shall pass.